In life, there's right and wrong. Yes, we would all like to choose the right answer. However, what is considered right is relatively, relative. Your friend might think what he is doing is right, and you would beg to differ. So, this can be categorized under 'complex matters' - explanation is now required; for justification, to determine which right is, in fact, right. In the event that you are right, and your friend is wrong, well, good for you. With your right answer you hammer and assault your friend with clever and intellectual answers, leaving him no place to take shelter or refuge. He's wrong, and that's that. I give the right answer, and a flawless explanation is the icing on the cake. Full marks I get. Well, not quite.
You see, interaction with people is different. People have feelings, emotions. They have dignity and a sense of self-worth. Being humans, none of us would like our feelings and reputations to be trampled on, even when we're in the wrong. And so life differs from examinations on paper. Empathy, compassion and mercy are required. I have found communication skills with other people so important that it is certainly regretful how they are not included in a student's academic syllabus, at least not in Malaysia. Instead, knowledge about most things that people wouldn't use or even remember in life (namely history and additional mathematics, no offense) are implemented.
Tactfulness is in many ways key. There are so many ways in conveying a message, but how do the ways differ from each other? How is it that the outcome of them would differ to such a great extent? To express exactly what you feel to another person, yet delicately taking his emotions and feelings into consideration and not ruining his image whilst expressing, is a skill that I believe needs to be learnt. Once acquired, things would flow much more smoothly; unnecessary and unhelpful dissension and strife are profitably bypassed. And guess what? It doesn't really matter if you're right or wrong, unless the gravity of the situation is indeed exceptionally grave so that it would matter if you're right or wrong, which is highly unlikely in most cases. What matters most is how other human beings like ourselves would feel in the end. A self-absorbed person would think of this as a nuisance. It takes sincerely putting yourself in someone's shoes to recognize that how another feels is equally as important as how you would yourself feel. If the other party is being unreasonable, you'd need that skill- to correct him of his error and protect his pride simultaneously in spectacular fashion.
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."May God give us the grace to behave only in the way the former of the sentence describes.
~Proverbs 15:1 [NIV]
P.S. Windjammer, this is what you taught me. Thanks. ;)
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